My son - having only arrived from Calgary last week - is astounded. In a positive way. He was amazed by the courtesy and quality of service he got when having meals at restaurants in Jakarta. He said, "I never have to pick up food; the waiter always brings it to me." He was even more floored by the strength and math ability of Padang restaurant waiter who has to bring 6-12 dishes on his arm to the table and later tallies up the food we ate by looking at the colors of the curry dishes. The girls serving us at KFC or Pizza Hut always appear happy, courteous, and infinitely patient, even after we spilled water on the floor. She would smile back at us and made me embarassed at our clumsiness.
Indonesians are trained at giving great services. At school we were brought up to follow orders and be obedient. It pains me, therefore, to know that our menial workers sent to Saudi Arabia are not treated well and, even worse, abused. Our courtesy and politeness are taken for a ride. I only wish the next government of Indonesia would have more backbone and 'cojones' when dealing with its counterparts.
Regardless, I think the quality of service we have been getting is an indication of a - dare I say - absolute advantage that other countries lack. Indonesia should focus on bringing out this exquisite level of service to the front to lure more foreign tourists and visitors. Indonesia should use this advantage as a huge leverage to promote tourism, eco-adventure travels, and exchange study programs.
What still lacks is the website gateway for tourism information on Indonesia. I have been in Indonesia for 2 months and have still little idea on how to get good accomodation and travel tips to Krakatau, Karimun Jawa, Bali. It is sad to say that I am still thinking of buying the Lonely Planet's Indonesia guide to show me where to go and what to do, given that I am here already.
Things have got to change. For the better. And hopefully sooner than later.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Korupsi
Sudahlah, lupakan aja usaha keras memberantas budaya 'korupsi' di tanah air. Terkadang saya berpikir seperti itu. Bukannya saya mendukung korupsi merajalela, tapi korupsi itu ada karena aturan kerja/interaksi dan tingkat ketrampilan yang ada di tanah air mendukung hal ini berkembang biak.
Korupsi timbul karena ini adalah jalan untuk memuluskan transaksi berbagai urusan dan akhirnya menjadi keharusan agar berbagai urusan ini berjalan baik.
Dari pengamatan sebulan ini, saya berpendapat budaya ini datang karena memang ada kebutuhan nyata. Pada saat saya hampir ditilang sebulan lalu karena masuk ke lajur busway, saya memutuskan untuk 'berdamai' saja karena diberitahu urusannya akan repot: SIM ditahan dan harus diambil di kantor pengadilan. Peraturan pengambilan SIM dibuat berbelit. Saya merasa naas; banyak sekali mobil yang nyerobot di lajur busway, tapi kok ya saya yang kena? Kalkulasi di otak saya langsung bilang: "Udah deh, damai aja, toh hampir sama ngeluarin uangnya." Bahkan lebih murah sedikit jika 'berdamai', belum lagi keuntungan waktu.
Contoh sederhana ini bilang korupsi itu memang diadakan oleh aturan kerja/interaksi yang njelimet (baca: birokratis) bukan main. Sementara saya melihat orang Indonesia itu gak mau dibuat sulit. Ringkasnya, orang Indonesia itu sering maunya sendiri. Kemacetan di Jakarta mengingatkan saya akan karakter kita ini. Orang Indonesia itu ingin seefisien seperti semua orang di semua negara lain.
Kembali ke contoh sederhana saya tadi, terlintas di benak saya saat alat 'perdamaian' berganti tangan: gak apa lah, dia kerja keras mengatur lalu lintas; mendingan saya beri langsung ke dia daripada ke meja administrasi pengadilan yang saya tidak tahu kemana uangnya pergi setelah itu. Ini bisa jadi pembenaran di kepala saya agar saya tidak terlalu merasa bersalah.
Faktor tingkat ketrampilan juga berpengaruh ke merajalelanya korupsi. Saya ambil contoh proyek tender pengadaan barang. Perusahaan-perusahaan yang ikut tender berlomba untuk menang tender dengan memasang harga bersaing dan faktor konten teknik memadai. Tapi karena tingkat ketrampilan kita rendah, tidak ada faktor menguntungkan lain yang bisa perusahaan-perusahaan ini tawarkan agar menang tender. Jika tingkat ketrampilan kita tinggi, kita bisa menawarkan inovasi produk buatan sendiri yang berpotensi mengalahkan perusahaan-perusahaan saingan dengan telak. Ini jarang terjadi.
Harga-harga yang ditawarkan perusahaan-perusahaan akhirnya tidak berbeda jauh. Tidak juga beda jauh konten teknik mereka karena inovasi-inovasi yang ada di alat-alat yang akan dipakai untuk berlomba tender tidak berbeda. Persaingan harga ini membuka kesempatan korupsi yang sebenarnya merugikan perusahaan pemenang: profit margin turun karena harus bagi-bagi. Korupsi di sini berupa uang imbalan yang dibayarkan pemenang tender ke yang bisa 'membantu' memenangkan tender.
Perusahaan-perusahaan ini jelas tidak mau melakukan korupsi, tapi mereka butuh hidup dan membayar gaji karyawan. Mereka butuh menang tender dan mereka diberikan jalan untuk menang tender. Jelas buat saya korupsi ini dibutuhkan dan perlu ada karena aturan kerja/interaksi/peraturan pemerintah yang njelimet dan kemampuan inovasi produk dan tingkat ketrampilan kita yang rendah.
Korupsi timbul karena ini adalah jalan untuk memuluskan transaksi berbagai urusan dan akhirnya menjadi keharusan agar berbagai urusan ini berjalan baik.
Dari pengamatan sebulan ini, saya berpendapat budaya ini datang karena memang ada kebutuhan nyata. Pada saat saya hampir ditilang sebulan lalu karena masuk ke lajur busway, saya memutuskan untuk 'berdamai' saja karena diberitahu urusannya akan repot: SIM ditahan dan harus diambil di kantor pengadilan. Peraturan pengambilan SIM dibuat berbelit. Saya merasa naas; banyak sekali mobil yang nyerobot di lajur busway, tapi kok ya saya yang kena? Kalkulasi di otak saya langsung bilang: "Udah deh, damai aja, toh hampir sama ngeluarin uangnya." Bahkan lebih murah sedikit jika 'berdamai', belum lagi keuntungan waktu.
Contoh sederhana ini bilang korupsi itu memang diadakan oleh aturan kerja/interaksi yang njelimet (baca: birokratis) bukan main. Sementara saya melihat orang Indonesia itu gak mau dibuat sulit. Ringkasnya, orang Indonesia itu sering maunya sendiri. Kemacetan di Jakarta mengingatkan saya akan karakter kita ini. Orang Indonesia itu ingin seefisien seperti semua orang di semua negara lain.
Kembali ke contoh sederhana saya tadi, terlintas di benak saya saat alat 'perdamaian' berganti tangan: gak apa lah, dia kerja keras mengatur lalu lintas; mendingan saya beri langsung ke dia daripada ke meja administrasi pengadilan yang saya tidak tahu kemana uangnya pergi setelah itu. Ini bisa jadi pembenaran di kepala saya agar saya tidak terlalu merasa bersalah.
Faktor tingkat ketrampilan juga berpengaruh ke merajalelanya korupsi. Saya ambil contoh proyek tender pengadaan barang. Perusahaan-perusahaan yang ikut tender berlomba untuk menang tender dengan memasang harga bersaing dan faktor konten teknik memadai. Tapi karena tingkat ketrampilan kita rendah, tidak ada faktor menguntungkan lain yang bisa perusahaan-perusahaan ini tawarkan agar menang tender. Jika tingkat ketrampilan kita tinggi, kita bisa menawarkan inovasi produk buatan sendiri yang berpotensi mengalahkan perusahaan-perusahaan saingan dengan telak. Ini jarang terjadi.
Harga-harga yang ditawarkan perusahaan-perusahaan akhirnya tidak berbeda jauh. Tidak juga beda jauh konten teknik mereka karena inovasi-inovasi yang ada di alat-alat yang akan dipakai untuk berlomba tender tidak berbeda. Persaingan harga ini membuka kesempatan korupsi yang sebenarnya merugikan perusahaan pemenang: profit margin turun karena harus bagi-bagi. Korupsi di sini berupa uang imbalan yang dibayarkan pemenang tender ke yang bisa 'membantu' memenangkan tender.
Perusahaan-perusahaan ini jelas tidak mau melakukan korupsi, tapi mereka butuh hidup dan membayar gaji karyawan. Mereka butuh menang tender dan mereka diberikan jalan untuk menang tender. Jelas buat saya korupsi ini dibutuhkan dan perlu ada karena aturan kerja/interaksi/peraturan pemerintah yang njelimet dan kemampuan inovasi produk dan tingkat ketrampilan kita yang rendah.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Lari
Sudah sebulan aku tinggal di Jakarta. Dimanapun kita mudah terperangkap kegiatan sehari-hari. Apalagi jika jadwal kerja sibuk. Sampai di kerja sebelum jam 8 pagi dan balik ke rumah setelah jam 6 malam. Sebelum itu tidur dan mandi. Sesudah itu, makan dan tidur lagi. Kapan aku bisa merasa segar dan jiwa ini terisi harapan dan perasaan terkoneksi dengan alam dan sekeliling?
Lari buatku memberi waktu dan energi untuk membangun koneksi dengan alam dan sekeliling, yang mungkin pudar karena sibuknya hari-hari kerja. Lari buatku me-recharge baterai yang pudar dan membugarkan badan yang letih.
Aku lari mulai jam 6:30 pagi kemarin, dari pucuk Jalan Otista di bilangan Cawang dan terus merangkak ke arah utara. Melewati Kampung Melayu - yang masih sepi angkot - dan pasar Jatinegara - yang sudah ramai dengan kerumunan penjual dan pembeli mengadu nasib.
Aku selalu diingatkan waktu lari kalau aku anak semesta. Aku selalu diingatkan untuk membuka mataku ke sekelilingku. Bapak tua yang termangu di sisi gerobaknya. Lima anak kecil berlari. Ibu dan nenek yang belanja di pagi hari. Tukang parkir yang menunggu mobil pertama. Sapa ramah mbak penjaga toko tempat aku beli air. Aku bisa merasakan kerasnya hidup mereka karena aku merasakan letihnya lari ini. Polusi udara Jakarta yang berbau harum hitam pekat. Trotoar jalan yang tidak ramah buat orang tua karena sangat tinggi letaknya.
Melewati Salemba aku berhenti sejenak untuk beli teh botol. Udara tropik sangat menyengat dan sebenarnya lebih keras dari udara dingin sejuk Canada untuk berlari. Tubuh mengeluarkan banyak uap air dan aku haus letih cepat sekali. Di Calgary aku bisa lari 90 menit tanpa minum air. Di Jakarta maksimum 60 menit. Belum lagi dengan riak di tenggorokan yang menggumpal karena polusi udara.
Aku sebenarnya mau terus ke Ancol sepanjang Jalan Gunung Sahari. Tapi aku tidak kuat lagi. Sudah 80 menit aku lari. Keramaian pasar Senen dibelakangku. Pasar Baru di sisiku. Aku teruskan, lari sedikit lagi, mendekati Mangga Besar. Waktunya berhenti. Badanku terasa sangat segar dan aku siap menyongsong hari.
Lari buatku memberi waktu dan energi untuk membangun koneksi dengan alam dan sekeliling, yang mungkin pudar karena sibuknya hari-hari kerja. Lari buatku me-recharge baterai yang pudar dan membugarkan badan yang letih.
Aku lari mulai jam 6:30 pagi kemarin, dari pucuk Jalan Otista di bilangan Cawang dan terus merangkak ke arah utara. Melewati Kampung Melayu - yang masih sepi angkot - dan pasar Jatinegara - yang sudah ramai dengan kerumunan penjual dan pembeli mengadu nasib.
Aku selalu diingatkan waktu lari kalau aku anak semesta. Aku selalu diingatkan untuk membuka mataku ke sekelilingku. Bapak tua yang termangu di sisi gerobaknya. Lima anak kecil berlari. Ibu dan nenek yang belanja di pagi hari. Tukang parkir yang menunggu mobil pertama. Sapa ramah mbak penjaga toko tempat aku beli air. Aku bisa merasakan kerasnya hidup mereka karena aku merasakan letihnya lari ini. Polusi udara Jakarta yang berbau harum hitam pekat. Trotoar jalan yang tidak ramah buat orang tua karena sangat tinggi letaknya.
Melewati Salemba aku berhenti sejenak untuk beli teh botol. Udara tropik sangat menyengat dan sebenarnya lebih keras dari udara dingin sejuk Canada untuk berlari. Tubuh mengeluarkan banyak uap air dan aku haus letih cepat sekali. Di Calgary aku bisa lari 90 menit tanpa minum air. Di Jakarta maksimum 60 menit. Belum lagi dengan riak di tenggorokan yang menggumpal karena polusi udara.
Aku sebenarnya mau terus ke Ancol sepanjang Jalan Gunung Sahari. Tapi aku tidak kuat lagi. Sudah 80 menit aku lari. Keramaian pasar Senen dibelakangku. Pasar Baru di sisiku. Aku teruskan, lari sedikit lagi, mendekati Mangga Besar. Waktunya berhenti. Badanku terasa sangat segar dan aku siap menyongsong hari.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Drivers as Insurance Policy
I have been in Jakarta for a week. I enjoy the experience, although I learn the true meaning of traffic jam in Jakarta. All the traffic jams I experienced in New York, Boston, or Toronto are pale in comparison. Traffic jams in Jakarta are chaotic and at the same time fun to watch.
I used to think Jakartans wasted their money by hiring drivers. But no more. I had suspected that these drivers must have filled an important role. I found that role yesterday when I discussed the madness of Jakartan traffic jam yesterday with my junior high school reunion.
Basically drivers in Jakarta serve two roles: (i) time saver and (ii) liability protection. It is not unusual to spend 3-4 hours per day in traffic, so drivers are huge time savers. One can work in the car, make phone calls, and coordinate work activities.
The chaotic mixture of motorcycles, trucks, carts, and cars of all sizes creates a high-risk situation for car drivers. If a car is involved in an accident with a motorcycle, the car driver is by default on the wrong side. Having a driver removes the risk of personal liability for the owner of the car.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Anak Kampung
Anakku bilang aku akan rindu steak Alberta
Lantas aku bilang kamu akan suka nasi Padang
Walau aku tahu harga daging memang mahal
Aku sudah putuskan waktu pulang kampung
Aku dulu pamit cari kehidupan lebih baik
Sekarang aku cari kehidupan lebih berarti
Kalau aku tak pernah berani melangkah
Aku tak akan tahu kemana aku berakhir
Sudah aku susuri jalan sepi Rocky Mountains
Sekarang waktunya aku lalui jalan ramai tanah airku
Walau aku sudah lama terasing tapi aku tak bisa lupa
Aku anak kampung dan rindu juga sapa ramahmu
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Penultimate
We met again after a long while. He hugged me tight and wished me well. We have been good friends and could be best friends. We caught up on our life stories – well, mostly work stories. My decisions and his ventures. It worked and didn't work last time. It might work again in the future. Always keep the door open, but never overdo it since both parties have to come to the table.
A 10 K run after that. It was cloudy and drizzling a bit, but the sun showed up in the last 2 km. Never worry too much, I said to myself. The clouds are what make life interesting and the sun will show up eventually. Yesterday I was drenched though, but funny thing is I ran a lot better. Cool weather helps soothe aching muscles. I hope much warmer weather will still be good to me. I will find out soon.
The day is not over yet. I had to do a quick bike. Storing this and that. Last minute stuff. Always like that. Life; my life. It was coincidence I ended up here, I remind myself. Though what I did helped that happen. My life is full of that. Coincidence after coincidence. If I tried too hard, it always never worked.
If I tried too hard, it always never worked. I am reminded of that when I read around-the-world bike adventure books tonight. That's what I want to do, I said to myself. I know what I want. I just have to make sure I never try it too hard.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Buying a House?
If you make a right call for an impending housing bubble – like what happened in Calgary 7 years ago – it is quite justifiable to purchase a house. But this is not an easy call to make and such bubble does not happen every decade.
Buying a house is not automatically profitable. The up-front cost is roughly 5% overhead cost due to filling up the house with furniture, upgrades if buying a new house or realtor's fee if buying a resale (used) house, moving cost, and lawyer's fee.
The biggest cost chunk actually comes from mortgage interest. For the first 10 years of paying down bank loan for your house purchase, a 4% annual interest rate means roughly 50% of each mortgage payment goes toward the mortgage interest. For example, if one pays $2000 monthly mortgage payment, $1000 will go to the bank, while $1000 will go toward paying down your mortgage. Over 10 years, one will give away about $100,000 to the bank.
Living in a house also means paying fully heat, electricity, water, and garbage collection. This works out roughly $500/month. Over 10 years, one will pay $60,000. In addition one has to pay property tax which depends on the market-value house price. For Calgary, this works out roughly $1500/year for a $350,000 house.
So, over 10 years, the total cost of owning a house is (5%×$350,000) + $100,000 + $60,000 + $15,000 = $192,500. Yes, you will save $1000/month × 120 months/10 years = $120,000 in your house, but you will spend $192,500 in order to save $120,000!
Bottom line: Owning a house is not a cheap proposition. $192,500 – or 55% of the $350,000 house price – is the opportunity cost of owning a house. For what opportunity, you might ask? For the opportunity of house price inflation (i.e., housing bubble in the best case scenario). To break even, you need a steady 4.5% house price inflation over 10 years. If you don't get this house price inflation, your house purchase is definitely a losing proposition!
But remember that $192,500 could be spent differently. If you think about this, the cost could be even higher. You could accumulate this amount for 10 years as a retirement saving, as a business capital, or simply as money for travel or education. You need to really do your homework before deciding for sure to buy a house.
Buying a house is not automatically profitable. The up-front cost is roughly 5% overhead cost due to filling up the house with furniture, upgrades if buying a new house or realtor's fee if buying a resale (used) house, moving cost, and lawyer's fee.
The biggest cost chunk actually comes from mortgage interest. For the first 10 years of paying down bank loan for your house purchase, a 4% annual interest rate means roughly 50% of each mortgage payment goes toward the mortgage interest. For example, if one pays $2000 monthly mortgage payment, $1000 will go to the bank, while $1000 will go toward paying down your mortgage. Over 10 years, one will give away about $100,000 to the bank.
Living in a house also means paying fully heat, electricity, water, and garbage collection. This works out roughly $500/month. Over 10 years, one will pay $60,000. In addition one has to pay property tax which depends on the market-value house price. For Calgary, this works out roughly $1500/year for a $350,000 house.
So, over 10 years, the total cost of owning a house is (5%×$350,000) + $100,000 + $60,000 + $15,000 = $192,500. Yes, you will save $1000/month × 120 months/10 years = $120,000 in your house, but you will spend $192,500 in order to save $120,000!
Bottom line: Owning a house is not a cheap proposition. $192,500 – or 55% of the $350,000 house price – is the opportunity cost of owning a house. For what opportunity, you might ask? For the opportunity of house price inflation (i.e., housing bubble in the best case scenario). To break even, you need a steady 4.5% house price inflation over 10 years. If you don't get this house price inflation, your house purchase is definitely a losing proposition!
But remember that $192,500 could be spent differently. If you think about this, the cost could be even higher. You could accumulate this amount for 10 years as a retirement saving, as a business capital, or simply as money for travel or education. You need to really do your homework before deciding for sure to buy a house.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Government: Underwriter & Referee Only, Please!
I used to think government ought to provide as much as infrastructure and assistance to its citizens. Such things like smooth paved roads, free highways, comprehensive health coverage, caring unemployment insurance, generous child benefit, free primary and secondary education, cheap – or free – university education, work training, generous pension, and so on. I thought this was to be expected from government; after all, government is supposed to be staffed by well-intentioned, intelligent people, right? Moreover, government is a representation of its citizens and as such is supposed to deliver what each citizen cannot individually get. Government in short should create a welfare state to ensure the welfare of its people.
This grand idea is nice and noble. I believed in it when I was a university student. One perspective I didn't have then was the perspective of a taxpayer. A welfare state requires a lot of money and it comes from taxpayers. It was easy for me to demand all the infrastructure and assistance from a government when I didn't have to pay it.
When I got a job, I found out quickly enough that a big chunk taken from my paycheque was tax. Something like 30%! My initial reaction was 'Well, it was time for me to participate in building our economy and welfare'. It went on for several years, and I learned that along with paycheque expenses also went up. Things like mortgage, car payment, clothing, entertainment, vacation, eating out, cell phone bills, and the rest. These expenses got me thinking: 'Wait a minute, am I not already participating in building our economy and welfare by making these expenses?' I started feeling the squeeze of a middle-class lifestyle where paycheque begets expense and things go around in a circle. Around and around ... you know what I mean.
Why then do I still have to pay a lot of income tax? Shouldn't it be more fair if my expenses were taxed instead of taking a big chunk directly from my paycheque? The pendulum swung to the other end as I thought about my situation. I started to wonder why there was no tax credit for healthy citizens who did not get sick for a year; wouldn't it motivate people to exercise and eat right? I started to wonder why the bank's interest rate were not high enough so that people were motivated to save? Government takes money, but seldom returns it. Apparently, government doesn't apply economics as the art and science of incentives to motivate its citizens.
This is when I started realizing that government may not be staffed by people who really understand that money does not grow from the trees. Moreover, political parties that vie for the position of government can promise all kinds of things during election campaigns. But who are going to pay for all these? You guessed it, taxpayers.
So now I have both perspectives: as a non taxpayer and as a taxpayer. On balance, I believe a welfare state will not create innovative, risk-taking yet prudent citizens.
An impoverished government will not also be able to do its main functions: underwriter and referee. I see government as an insurance company to protect its citizens against unpredictable, life-threatening forces such as traffic accidents, floods, tsunami and alikes. Even then, citizens should be able to exercise freedom to choose private insurance companies if their prices and coverages are better. As an underwriter, government should provide protection against invasion risk (defense role) and trade & manufacturing liabilities (if it wants to develop strong industry). Government should protect wealth and beauty of land and water. As a referee, government should settle disputes among its citizens and enforce any laws passed. Even then, citizens should be allowed to settle their disputes out of court if they so wish.
This grand idea is nice and noble. I believed in it when I was a university student. One perspective I didn't have then was the perspective of a taxpayer. A welfare state requires a lot of money and it comes from taxpayers. It was easy for me to demand all the infrastructure and assistance from a government when I didn't have to pay it.
When I got a job, I found out quickly enough that a big chunk taken from my paycheque was tax. Something like 30%! My initial reaction was 'Well, it was time for me to participate in building our economy and welfare'. It went on for several years, and I learned that along with paycheque expenses also went up. Things like mortgage, car payment, clothing, entertainment, vacation, eating out, cell phone bills, and the rest. These expenses got me thinking: 'Wait a minute, am I not already participating in building our economy and welfare by making these expenses?' I started feeling the squeeze of a middle-class lifestyle where paycheque begets expense and things go around in a circle. Around and around ... you know what I mean.
Why then do I still have to pay a lot of income tax? Shouldn't it be more fair if my expenses were taxed instead of taking a big chunk directly from my paycheque? The pendulum swung to the other end as I thought about my situation. I started to wonder why there was no tax credit for healthy citizens who did not get sick for a year; wouldn't it motivate people to exercise and eat right? I started to wonder why the bank's interest rate were not high enough so that people were motivated to save? Government takes money, but seldom returns it. Apparently, government doesn't apply economics as the art and science of incentives to motivate its citizens.
This is when I started realizing that government may not be staffed by people who really understand that money does not grow from the trees. Moreover, political parties that vie for the position of government can promise all kinds of things during election campaigns. But who are going to pay for all these? You guessed it, taxpayers.
So now I have both perspectives: as a non taxpayer and as a taxpayer. On balance, I believe a welfare state will not create innovative, risk-taking yet prudent citizens.
An impoverished government will not also be able to do its main functions: underwriter and referee. I see government as an insurance company to protect its citizens against unpredictable, life-threatening forces such as traffic accidents, floods, tsunami and alikes. Even then, citizens should be able to exercise freedom to choose private insurance companies if their prices and coverages are better. As an underwriter, government should provide protection against invasion risk (defense role) and trade & manufacturing liabilities (if it wants to develop strong industry). Government should protect wealth and beauty of land and water. As a referee, government should settle disputes among its citizens and enforce any laws passed. Even then, citizens should be allowed to settle their disputes out of court if they so wish.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Mandi
Aku mandi jika aku capek kotor
Gemericik air buat aku tenang
Otak bisa berpikir lagi habis
Seharian angkat angkat
Aku makan lodeh jika lapar
Masakan istri tidak terkalahkan
Santan kelapa kuning kemerahan
Sayur segar ditemani tahu tempe
Aku baca jika aku butuh ide baru
Ratusan buku aku kurangi karena
Ikuti orang semakin tidak enak
Aku mau jalanku sendiri
Aku lari jika badanku ingin segar
Naik sepeda sampai kulit hitam
Sudah lama tidak naik gunung
Hidup singkat terasa terbuang
Aku sapa anak jika rindu peluk
Yang besar yang kecil asaku juga
Senang lihat mereka dekat
Satu saat pergi jauh bersama
Gemericik air buat aku tenang
Otak bisa berpikir lagi habis
Seharian angkat angkat
Aku makan lodeh jika lapar
Masakan istri tidak terkalahkan
Santan kelapa kuning kemerahan
Sayur segar ditemani tahu tempe
Aku baca jika aku butuh ide baru
Ratusan buku aku kurangi karena
Ikuti orang semakin tidak enak
Aku mau jalanku sendiri
Aku lari jika badanku ingin segar
Naik sepeda sampai kulit hitam
Sudah lama tidak naik gunung
Hidup singkat terasa terbuang
Aku sapa anak jika rindu peluk
Yang besar yang kecil asaku juga
Senang lihat mereka dekat
Satu saat pergi jauh bersama
Impermanence
Q: Does everything change?
A: Yes, around us. Within us. When I was a student, my political orientation was left-wing. As my children grew, my living costs grew too and I realized the costs have gotten more expensive: clothing, books, entertainment, food. I want lower tax and my political orientation is more right-wing now.
Q: I am not sure if left-wing and right-wing dichotomy is relevant now, given there are not many socialist countries that thrive. That by the way is a change and it will keep changing.
A: You're right. I haven't run for a month and yesterday I ran. My right knee now feels sore. If I don't keep exercising regularly, my knee changes to a weaker state. Nothing is permanent.
Q: Why is nothing is permanent?
A: Because at least this world moves in cycle. We were born, grew up, and will die. We often think of this cycle as something that moves in time. But cycle moves in space as well. Countries that were dominant - Iraq, Egypt, more recently Portugal and Spain - now are no longer. History can teach us a lot of things, if only we were willing to read and listen.
Q: Isn't it obvious?
A: It is, as a knowledge, but it is so difficult to practice it. We cling so much to what we have. Everything. As if things would not change. The other day as I pack my books for my new adventure, I found out I clung so much to my books. I had a hard time picking ones that are truly important.
Q: Ha ha ha, that's funny. And you certainly thought other people clung more to their stuff - be they jewelry, clothing, or food.
A: Precisely, I had previously believed I didn't have a lot of attachment. But I did. It is always easier to criticize other people than recognizing my own weaknesses.
Q: Do you suggest that to have no attachment is the sure-fire way to deal with impermanence?
A: Yes, I feel that way. Having no attachment to anything is like anticipating the impermanence that surrounds us. It is the most natural response to impermanence.
A: Yes, around us. Within us. When I was a student, my political orientation was left-wing. As my children grew, my living costs grew too and I realized the costs have gotten more expensive: clothing, books, entertainment, food. I want lower tax and my political orientation is more right-wing now.
Q: I am not sure if left-wing and right-wing dichotomy is relevant now, given there are not many socialist countries that thrive. That by the way is a change and it will keep changing.
A: You're right. I haven't run for a month and yesterday I ran. My right knee now feels sore. If I don't keep exercising regularly, my knee changes to a weaker state. Nothing is permanent.
Q: Why is nothing is permanent?
A: Because at least this world moves in cycle. We were born, grew up, and will die. We often think of this cycle as something that moves in time. But cycle moves in space as well. Countries that were dominant - Iraq, Egypt, more recently Portugal and Spain - now are no longer. History can teach us a lot of things, if only we were willing to read and listen.
Q: Isn't it obvious?
A: It is, as a knowledge, but it is so difficult to practice it. We cling so much to what we have. Everything. As if things would not change. The other day as I pack my books for my new adventure, I found out I clung so much to my books. I had a hard time picking ones that are truly important.
Q: Ha ha ha, that's funny. And you certainly thought other people clung more to their stuff - be they jewelry, clothing, or food.
A: Precisely, I had previously believed I didn't have a lot of attachment. But I did. It is always easier to criticize other people than recognizing my own weaknesses.
Q: Do you suggest that to have no attachment is the sure-fire way to deal with impermanence?
A: Yes, I feel that way. Having no attachment to anything is like anticipating the impermanence that surrounds us. It is the most natural response to impermanence.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Why Mission Needed?
A: That's a good question. Let me try to answer that. I wouldn't dream any mission in life - I am certain - if I didn't have education. I would be happy doing the 9-to-5 thing, watching games and shows on teve, going shopping, going to sleep, waking up, and going on like that for the next 20 years. My world would be a happier place without education ... A funny thing to say, come to think of it.
Q: Education sucks then, it ruins the party, eh?
A: When people say 'ignorance is bliss', they don't bullshit. Educated society demands a lot of things, which makes me wonder why Canadian political election has always been about health care ...
Q: But isn't it trite to say your life needs a mission? I mean, everyone has a mission in his life.
A: Well, there are obligations, you know ... duties, then there are life missions. The fact that my wife and I are raising my kids and making sure they grow up well is not my life mission. It is my duty since no one else is willing to do it.
Q: And how about mission?
A: Mission is what I elect to do. I can choose not to do it, but I decided to do it. It becomes a mission. Thing I have to do because I want to do it. It starts with a desire and ends with a decision to do something.
Q: Wait a minute, ... so having kids can be a mission then? Right?
A: Yes, you can decide to have 20 kids as your life mission, for example. Let's see whether you'll like it, huh!
Q: But why do you need a mission?
A: The short answer is that I can't stand routine stuff. It's supremely boring and could define what a hell is for me. The long answer goes back to the idea of education. That once it opens me to the world of ideas, it is hard to go back and pretend life is only about what to eat and buy for today or tomorrow.
Q: Not only you're melancholic, but incurably romantic as well.
A: I am. I accept it as who I am.
Q: So, what's your mission?
A: I want to travel the world, to be alone at the mountain peak and to meet people everywhere. I want to have my own business. Be my own boss and take care of people who work for me. Take care of people I love. That would be great! That's my mission.
Q: I do too. I feel what you say. I like the people I meet at work, but I hate my job. It becomes stale and too routine. I agree having my own business will give constant challenges.
A: I don't think it would get easier with owning a business - being an employee is actually easier - but I need challenges.
Q: What kind of business?
A: It has to be something I am really good at. Not just any business, opening a restaurant or a bar. It is not about money only. It is about meshing things I want to do with things I am good at.
Q: Education sucks then, it ruins the party, eh?
A: When people say 'ignorance is bliss', they don't bullshit. Educated society demands a lot of things, which makes me wonder why Canadian political election has always been about health care ...
Q: But isn't it trite to say your life needs a mission? I mean, everyone has a mission in his life.
A: Well, there are obligations, you know ... duties, then there are life missions. The fact that my wife and I are raising my kids and making sure they grow up well is not my life mission. It is my duty since no one else is willing to do it.
Q: And how about mission?
A: Mission is what I elect to do. I can choose not to do it, but I decided to do it. It becomes a mission. Thing I have to do because I want to do it. It starts with a desire and ends with a decision to do something.
Q: Wait a minute, ... so having kids can be a mission then? Right?
A: Yes, you can decide to have 20 kids as your life mission, for example. Let's see whether you'll like it, huh!
Q: But why do you need a mission?
A: The short answer is that I can't stand routine stuff. It's supremely boring and could define what a hell is for me. The long answer goes back to the idea of education. That once it opens me to the world of ideas, it is hard to go back and pretend life is only about what to eat and buy for today or tomorrow.
Q: Not only you're melancholic, but incurably romantic as well.
A: I am. I accept it as who I am.
Q: So, what's your mission?
A: I want to travel the world, to be alone at the mountain peak and to meet people everywhere. I want to have my own business. Be my own boss and take care of people who work for me. Take care of people I love. That would be great! That's my mission.
Q: I do too. I feel what you say. I like the people I meet at work, but I hate my job. It becomes stale and too routine. I agree having my own business will give constant challenges.
A: I don't think it would get easier with owning a business - being an employee is actually easier - but I need challenges.
Q: What kind of business?
A: It has to be something I am really good at. Not just any business, opening a restaurant or a bar. It is not about money only. It is about meshing things I want to do with things I am good at.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Interesting Word, Freedom ...
A: Yeah, I know, 'cause we never have one. One - or worse, thing - enslaves another. I still want to be in a better spot though?
Q: Whatdayameaan?
A: Since I know I can never have freedom, at least I want a noble master ...
Q: You're bullshitting, right?!?
A: No, I am serious. I purposefully pick my master so that I feel at ease when I am enslaved.
Q: Ha ha ha, that's deep shit, man!
A: No kidding ... I figure if I am at ease when I am enslaved, I gain my freedom. You see I think I am on to something here. That's what I mean by finding a noble master.
Q: Hah, you're not a stupid thinker after all; I've seen worse. I guess this is what you mean by 'living a life with a mission' in our last conversation ...
A: Yeah, you are absolutely right. My mission is my noble master. I think about this a lot, as you know, and I come to a conclusion that my life is worth-living if it has a mission.
Q: Different people, different missions, or none at all for some people, eh?!
A: Hell, yeah ... it's a free market, bro! It's what gives color to this world.
Q: So, you don't wanna be a preacher?
A: Well, I'd like to share about my mission, but why should I waste my time too much? I got my mission to fulfill, right?
Q: Aahh, this starts to click now. You're just a lazy person, then?
A: Whatdayameaan?
Q: Well, you won't lift a finger if you don't see a benefit.
A: Most definitely, but it's not because my mission is to maximize the benefit. It's a by product, you see ...
Q: Whatever, but I see more clearly now.
Q: Whatdayameaan?
A: Since I know I can never have freedom, at least I want a noble master ...
Q: You're bullshitting, right?!?
A: No, I am serious. I purposefully pick my master so that I feel at ease when I am enslaved.
Q: Ha ha ha, that's deep shit, man!
A: No kidding ... I figure if I am at ease when I am enslaved, I gain my freedom. You see I think I am on to something here. That's what I mean by finding a noble master.
Q: Hah, you're not a stupid thinker after all; I've seen worse. I guess this is what you mean by 'living a life with a mission' in our last conversation ...
A: Yeah, you are absolutely right. My mission is my noble master. I think about this a lot, as you know, and I come to a conclusion that my life is worth-living if it has a mission.
Q: Different people, different missions, or none at all for some people, eh?!
A: Hell, yeah ... it's a free market, bro! It's what gives color to this world.
Q: So, you don't wanna be a preacher?
A: Well, I'd like to share about my mission, but why should I waste my time too much? I got my mission to fulfill, right?
Q: Aahh, this starts to click now. You're just a lazy person, then?
A: Whatdayameaan?
Q: Well, you won't lift a finger if you don't see a benefit.
A: Most definitely, but it's not because my mission is to maximize the benefit. It's a by product, you see ...
Q: Whatever, but I see more clearly now.
What Are You Looking For?
A: Happiness, but mostly freedom.
Q: But don't you find one already?
A: Yes, but it feels flat - kind of meaningless.
Q: What do you mean?
A: Well, I feel happy, but happy as in 'absence of sadness', not happy in a meaningful way.
Q: You are just melancholic, you should live a little. Go out and buy things. You will feel happy.
A: I could but it is predictable. You know, those stuff are boring. You go in cycle and you feel trapped.
Q: Then you are not looking for happiness?
A: I suppose, but you know I keep searching ....
Q: So, you want to find a meaning in your life?
A: Yes, I think that's it. I want my life to mean something. A life with a mission.
Q: You are asking too much. You live in an advanced country. All things that need to be done were done already. Why can't you just enjoy the party?
A: What party? I am struggling as it is, along with my millions of countrymen. I think what you said about 'all things that need to be done were done' kinda explain what happens with our election campaign. So far it's been quite civil, er ... quiet ...
Q: What you said was interesting though ... You wanted a life with a mission. Do you know already what?
A: Yes, vaguely, but mostly I think because I am just a shy person.
Q: You're kidding, right? If any, you probably talk too much. You need to think about it more, but don't think too long ... The train will not wait for you!
A: I know.
Q: But don't you find one already?
A: Yes, but it feels flat - kind of meaningless.
Q: What do you mean?
A: Well, I feel happy, but happy as in 'absence of sadness', not happy in a meaningful way.
Q: You are just melancholic, you should live a little. Go out and buy things. You will feel happy.
A: I could but it is predictable. You know, those stuff are boring. You go in cycle and you feel trapped.
Q: Then you are not looking for happiness?
A: I suppose, but you know I keep searching ....
Q: So, you want to find a meaning in your life?
A: Yes, I think that's it. I want my life to mean something. A life with a mission.
Q: You are asking too much. You live in an advanced country. All things that need to be done were done already. Why can't you just enjoy the party?
A: What party? I am struggling as it is, along with my millions of countrymen. I think what you said about 'all things that need to be done were done' kinda explain what happens with our election campaign. So far it's been quite civil, er ... quiet ...
Q: What you said was interesting though ... You wanted a life with a mission. Do you know already what?
A: Yes, vaguely, but mostly I think because I am just a shy person.
Q: You're kidding, right? If any, you probably talk too much. You need to think about it more, but don't think too long ... The train will not wait for you!
A: I know.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Area & Volume
My previous blog was on two lines intersecting and the intersection gives us a notion of inner product, a peculiar way to multiply two vectors. When we consider area of a two-dimensional plane, we need to define an outer product, which is another way to multiply two vectors.
An area of a section in a flat two-dimensional plane is shown in the diagram below.
Things get truly interesting now. We must extend by analogy the notion of inner product in 2D space to a 3D space:
a⋅b = aj bj = a1b1 + a2b2 + a3b3
The index j is repeated, and this implies that j runs from 1 to 3 and the terms are added. Using this definition, it can be shown, after some algebra, that
Area = [(a2b3 - a2b3)2 + (a3b1 - a1b3)2 + (a1b2 - a2b1)2]1/2.
The area spanned by the two vectors a and b is a length of a vector - let's call it g - given by
g = (a2b3 - a2b3, a3b1 - a1b3, a1b2 - a2b1).
g is the most natural (simple) choice for this vector, whose length corresponds to the area, since g is perpendicular to a and b. There are other 5 possibilities but they are not perpendicular to a and b. Another interesting result is that the vector -g (i.e., opposite to g but equal length) is also a solution, that is its length also yields the area spanned by vectors a and b.
The common choice in applied math is to pick g (not -g) as the vector perpendicular to a and b by imposing an 'index permutation' condition. This condition basically says that a term 'a2b3' in g will have a positive sign, while a term 'a3b2' will instead have a negative sign, and so on. In the former, the positive sign comes up because the index 2 appears before 3, while in the latter 3 appears before 2. To regulate this sign assignment we define an index-permutation coefficient (its fancy name is Levi-Civita symbol).
An outer product of a and b (in that order) is equal to g,
g = a × b,
and the length of g is equal to the area spanned by vectors a and b. If we flip the order of a and b, we get
-g = b × a,
where the negative sign appears because of the reverse index permutation.
Once we understand that an area in 3D space is equal to the length of vector g, the volume of a parallelepiped spanned by vectors a, b, and c can be obtained simply, as shown by the diagram below.
An area of a section in a flat two-dimensional plane is shown in the diagram below.
When you work out the algebra for sinγ using the identity sin2γ + cos2γ = 1, where cosγ is obtained from the inner product expression, you will find the following result when a and b are two-dimensional vectors.
So, for sinγ we obtain an interesting expression: a1b2 − a2b1. I said interesting because the indices 1 and 2 corresponding to the first and second components of the vectors a and b are interchanged and for some reason a minus sign is produced. If we stay in 2D, we won't be able to see the beauty of this interesting expression.
To move into a three-dimensional space means we are concerned with volume. If we consider a parallelepiped volume below, we can define three vectors: a = (a1,a2,a3); b = (b1,b2,b3); c = (c1,c2,c3), which form a frame for the parallelepiped as shown below.
Things get truly interesting now. We must extend by analogy the notion of inner product in 2D space to a 3D space:
a⋅b = aj bj = a1b1 + a2b2 + a3b3
The index j is repeated, and this implies that j runs from 1 to 3 and the terms are added. Using this definition, it can be shown, after some algebra, that
Area = [(a2b3 - a2b3)2 + (a3b1 - a1b3)2 + (a1b2 - a2b1)2]1/2.
The area spanned by the two vectors a and b is a length of a vector - let's call it g - given by
g = (a2b3 - a2b3, a3b1 - a1b3, a1b2 - a2b1).
g is the most natural (simple) choice for this vector, whose length corresponds to the area, since g is perpendicular to a and b. There are other 5 possibilities but they are not perpendicular to a and b. Another interesting result is that the vector -g (i.e., opposite to g but equal length) is also a solution, that is its length also yields the area spanned by vectors a and b.
The common choice in applied math is to pick g (not -g) as the vector perpendicular to a and b by imposing an 'index permutation' condition. This condition basically says that a term 'a2b3' in g will have a positive sign, while a term 'a3b2' will instead have a negative sign, and so on. In the former, the positive sign comes up because the index 2 appears before 3, while in the latter 3 appears before 2. To regulate this sign assignment we define an index-permutation coefficient (its fancy name is Levi-Civita symbol).
An outer product of a and b (in that order) is equal to g,
g = a × b,
and the length of g is equal to the area spanned by vectors a and b. If we flip the order of a and b, we get
-g = b × a,
where the negative sign appears because of the reverse index permutation.
Once we understand that an area in 3D space is equal to the length of vector g, the volume of a parallelepiped spanned by vectors a, b, and c can be obtained simply, as shown by the diagram below.
The volume is equal to the inner product of g and c, and since g = a × b, we get the desired result,
Volume = c⋅(a × b).
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Why does inner product of 2 vectors look like that?
The inner product of two vectors a and b is defined by
a⋅b = a1b1 + a2b2
where a = (a1,a2) and b = (b1,b2) are defined on a two-dimensional space.
Why does the inner product of these two vectors look like that? Is there any purpose at all to define the inner product like that?
The answer to this question shows the connection between vectors and geometry. More precisely, the inner product helps us obtain the angle between two vectors.
But there are two angles between these two vectors. The first angle is defined when we stack the two vectors one after the other. The symbols |a| and |b| mean the lengths of vectors a and b.
The two angles, α and γ, are actually connected when we look at the diagram below.
a⋅b = a1b1 + a2b2
where a = (a1,a2) and b = (b1,b2) are defined on a two-dimensional space.
Why does the inner product of these two vectors look like that? Is there any purpose at all to define the inner product like that?
The answer to this question shows the connection between vectors and geometry. More precisely, the inner product helps us obtain the angle between two vectors.
But there are two angles between these two vectors. The first angle is defined when we stack the two vectors one after the other. The symbols |a| and |b| mean the lengths of vectors a and b.
The second angle is defined when we coincide the starting points of the two vectors.
The two angles, α and γ, are actually connected when we look at the diagram below.
That is, their sum is equal to 180°. From the definition of the inner product, we can conclude right away that a⋅b = 0 if the two vectors are perpendicular to each other.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Kakek
Langkah diammu ingatkan aku
Bapakku yang sudah tak sabar
Cucu tinggal di tanah jauh.
Heh, itu saja yang kamu ucapkan
Waktu aku sapa kamu walau
Kita bertetangga bersebelahan.
Topi dan lagakmu persis bapakku
Diam tapi tak ragu tengkar teriak
Aku pun yakin kamu seperti itu.
Aku jadi terlena ingat bapakku
Kakek anakku punya banyak cerita
Sudah tua tapi tak mau diam.
Senyum dan mata membasah
Ingat saat kita siap berhunus
Anak bapak sama saja gila.
Aku pelan sadar kita tidak beda
Bapakku pasti senang bertemu
Cucunya: cermin hidup masih muda.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Jauh
Aku sudah berjalan jauh
Tak takut lagi bicara mati
Menghitung hari dan tahun
Pastikan anak istri terjamin.
Kerap aku jadi tak sabar
Karena aku ada di depan
Aku masih harus belajar
Mendengar raba merasa.
Aku sudah berjalan jauh
Tak takut lagi jatuh miskin
Pasrah hukum alam saja
Masih banyak harus kuraih.
Dulu kupikir ini yang kucari
Jadi pertapa menara gading
Sepi bukan sahabatku lagi
Aku mau jalanku sendiri.
Aku sudah berjalan jauh
Satu besar, satu beranjak
Mungkin aku kembali lagi
Tapi sudah, terserah mereka.
Lepas nanti kamu berdua
Kita teman dekat terbaik
Bukan aku letih dan penat
Tapi kamu harus berani.
Aku sudah berjalan jauh
Semakin tahu mauku apa
Tak mempan bujuk rayumu
Makin cinta dirimu saja.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Apa Yang Berharga Dariku
Anakku,
umurmu sudah enam tahun sekarang
masih muda dan panjang jalanmu
aku sendiri baru melangkah tiga puluh
saat ini, sendiri
ibumu dan kamu jauh dariku
Kemarin aku duduk lama di taman
dekat apartemen kita
menyisir pikiran dan rasa.
Teriakan riang remaja main baseball
sepasang muda-mudi berlarian menangkap frisbee
tiga anak kecil hitam dan kakeknya
duduk di bawah pohon rindang
Aku teringat saatku sendiri
empat tahun pertamaku.
Tapi kali ini dahsyat rasa sunyi
menghantam dada.
Rindu mendekap ibumu dan tawa dan tangismu
Sudah banyak aku dengar dan baca
apa itu hidup dan waktu.
Tetap tak bisa ganti
pengalaman sendiri.
Dengarkan apa yang aku ungkapkan
sebelum kamu baca dan alami sendiri.
Hargai kemerdekaan
menyamai hidupmu
Karena dialah pembuka irama hari
dan nyanyi syahdu menjelang tidur.
Jangan bungkam dia sebelum semua indramu
mereguk penuh.
Hidup ini terlalu singkat buat
penakut dan pengecut.
Tajamkan niat
asah nalar untuk maju
memimpin mereka yang akan berbaris
di belakangmu.
Dengan menjadi nahkoda kapalmu sendiri
kamu akan mengenal lautan hidup.
Tirulah gandum, menatap sang mentari
badan tegak dan mata lurus
menyongsong, tangan terbuka lebar.
Biarkan mentari membakar rantingmu
karena hanya itu kamu bisa tumbuh.
Bulir jiwamu menjadi terisi energi
mengalir di tata surya.
Tapi jangan pongah dan lengah,
karena sungai di dekat rumah nenek buyutmu
tak mengalir jauh. Walau berderas lantang.
Sedang kali Brantas dan Bengawan Solo
membawa hanyut debu subur kawah berapi
sampai jauh ke laut. Hampir tanpa gemuruh.
Lalui keseharian dengan gairah dan semangat
sambut sapa selamat pagi, dengan dendang lagu kesukaan.
Tak usah malu dan enggan menari bersama hidup
karena kita toh akan dijemput sang maut.
Peluk dan cium dia
hirup semerbak aromanya dan berlarilah riang
di hari cerah atau penuh badai.
Cari kebenaran
nalar dan rasa menuntunmu.
Jangan ragu tanya atau malas pikir
karena orang lain akan menyita jiwamu
gadaikan di altar jadi-jadian,
jika kamu tidak melangkah sendiri.
Bicara seadanya dan jujur
biar orang mengenalmu
seperti kamu kenal dirimu.
Tidak ada rahasia hidup yang tidak kamu tahu.
Dan tak usah ciptakan mitos dan misteri
karena hanya asingkan kamu
dari orang-orang yang mencintaimu.
Tidak ada yang lebih terhormat
dari kerja sehari penuh
cukupi dirimu sendiri.
Pelajari semua yang kamu temui
selagi masih punya waktu.
Jangan pernah bilang tidak bisa
sebelum kamu jatuh terseok berulang kali.
Tidak ada pekerjaan lebih mulia dari yang lain.
Karena kita hidup bersama, menghirup udara
meminum air, dan menanak nasi
hasil keringat orang lain
ramuan alam warisan nenek moyang.
Kalau kamu jadi pembesar atau orang pintar
Jangan buang muka dari orang-orang
menatapmu hormat kagum.
Kalau kamu jadi pegawai atau pekerja
jangan tundukkan kepala berdiam diri
ragu takut akan pikiran orang lain.
Karena hakikat manusia bukan pangkat dan gelar.
Hanya memberi, bukan mengemis
kamu menjadi kaya raya.
Hanya kegairahan, bukan keengganan,
kamu memetik kebahagiaan.
Hanya mencari, bukan pasrah,
kamu menggenggam kemerdekaan.
Anakku,
waktunya aku bekerja kembali
sudah duduk tiga jam menulis buatmu.
Kalau aku tidak bisa memberimu apa-apa
biarlah puisi ini menjadi
semua yang berharga dariku.
28 August 2000
umurmu sudah enam tahun sekarang
masih muda dan panjang jalanmu
aku sendiri baru melangkah tiga puluh
saat ini, sendiri
ibumu dan kamu jauh dariku
Kemarin aku duduk lama di taman
dekat apartemen kita
menyisir pikiran dan rasa.
Teriakan riang remaja main baseball
sepasang muda-mudi berlarian menangkap frisbee
tiga anak kecil hitam dan kakeknya
duduk di bawah pohon rindang
Aku teringat saatku sendiri
empat tahun pertamaku.
Tapi kali ini dahsyat rasa sunyi
menghantam dada.
Rindu mendekap ibumu dan tawa dan tangismu
Sudah banyak aku dengar dan baca
apa itu hidup dan waktu.
Tetap tak bisa ganti
pengalaman sendiri.
Dengarkan apa yang aku ungkapkan
sebelum kamu baca dan alami sendiri.
Hargai kemerdekaan
menyamai hidupmu
Karena dialah pembuka irama hari
dan nyanyi syahdu menjelang tidur.
Jangan bungkam dia sebelum semua indramu
mereguk penuh.
Hidup ini terlalu singkat buat
penakut dan pengecut.
Tajamkan niat
asah nalar untuk maju
memimpin mereka yang akan berbaris
di belakangmu.
Dengan menjadi nahkoda kapalmu sendiri
kamu akan mengenal lautan hidup.
Tirulah gandum, menatap sang mentari
badan tegak dan mata lurus
menyongsong, tangan terbuka lebar.
Biarkan mentari membakar rantingmu
karena hanya itu kamu bisa tumbuh.
Bulir jiwamu menjadi terisi energi
mengalir di tata surya.
Tapi jangan pongah dan lengah,
karena sungai di dekat rumah nenek buyutmu
tak mengalir jauh. Walau berderas lantang.
Sedang kali Brantas dan Bengawan Solo
membawa hanyut debu subur kawah berapi
sampai jauh ke laut. Hampir tanpa gemuruh.
Lalui keseharian dengan gairah dan semangat
sambut sapa selamat pagi, dengan dendang lagu kesukaan.
Tak usah malu dan enggan menari bersama hidup
karena kita toh akan dijemput sang maut.
Peluk dan cium dia
hirup semerbak aromanya dan berlarilah riang
di hari cerah atau penuh badai.
Cari kebenaran
nalar dan rasa menuntunmu.
Jangan ragu tanya atau malas pikir
karena orang lain akan menyita jiwamu
gadaikan di altar jadi-jadian,
jika kamu tidak melangkah sendiri.
Bicara seadanya dan jujur
biar orang mengenalmu
seperti kamu kenal dirimu.
Tidak ada rahasia hidup yang tidak kamu tahu.
Dan tak usah ciptakan mitos dan misteri
karena hanya asingkan kamu
dari orang-orang yang mencintaimu.
Tidak ada yang lebih terhormat
dari kerja sehari penuh
cukupi dirimu sendiri.
Pelajari semua yang kamu temui
selagi masih punya waktu.
Jangan pernah bilang tidak bisa
sebelum kamu jatuh terseok berulang kali.
Tidak ada pekerjaan lebih mulia dari yang lain.
Karena kita hidup bersama, menghirup udara
meminum air, dan menanak nasi
hasil keringat orang lain
ramuan alam warisan nenek moyang.
Kalau kamu jadi pembesar atau orang pintar
Jangan buang muka dari orang-orang
menatapmu hormat kagum.
Kalau kamu jadi pegawai atau pekerja
jangan tundukkan kepala berdiam diri
ragu takut akan pikiran orang lain.
Karena hakikat manusia bukan pangkat dan gelar.
Hanya memberi, bukan mengemis
kamu menjadi kaya raya.
Hanya kegairahan, bukan keengganan,
kamu memetik kebahagiaan.
Hanya mencari, bukan pasrah,
kamu menggenggam kemerdekaan.
Anakku,
waktunya aku bekerja kembali
sudah duduk tiga jam menulis buatmu.
Kalau aku tidak bisa memberimu apa-apa
biarlah puisi ini menjadi
semua yang berharga dariku.
28 August 2000
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Nuclear Reactor Basics
I had a conversation this morning with my two good friends. We're discussing Japan nuclear crisis following the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami. Radioactive materials are released into ocean and atmosphere, and I was left wondering how many kilograms of uranium material needed to power a typical nuclear reactor. Below are my estimates.
A nuclear power plant is powered by the nuclear splitting process (fission) of either natural or enriched uranium. Natural uranium has largely U-238, about 0.7% U-235 isotope, and a tiny amount of U-234. Enriched uranium has 3-5% U-235. Either natural or enriched uranium can act as nuclear fuel. The amount of heat liberated by one fissile U-235 atom is 202.5 MeV. Since 1 eV = 1.602 × 10-19 J, 202.5 MeV = 3.2 × 10-11 J. The atomic weight of uranium is 238 amu = 238 g/mol due to the overwhelming fractional amount of U-238. Since 1 mole = 6.02 × 1023, the amount of energy liberated per kg of natural uranium due to U-235 fission is 134 is 566.6 GJ/kg.
A large power plant typically produces about 1 GW electrical power. Per year, this means an energy production of 31,536 TJ. Hence, the natural uranium needed to produce this much energy is 55.7 metric ton. But, this much uranium is for a 100% heat-to-electricity energy conversion efficiency. A more realistic efficiency number is 40% – as I expect the nuclear power plant will use high temperature steam to drive turbine blades – so that a more realistic estimate of natural uranium required per year for the 1 GW power is 139.3 metric ton.
The estimate amount for the enriched uranium will be 4-7 times less due to its higher U-235 composition, but the numbers of U-235 atoms required in either fuel types are the same.
Neutrons produced by the U-235 fission are also captured by the more abundant U-238 leading to the production of fissile Pu-239 (plutonium). The amount of heat released by fission of one Pu-239 atom is 207.1 MeV, which is comparable to the heat produced by fissile U-235, and is used as well for power generation. The Economist (31 March 2011) reported that Pu-239 was detected in soil samples taken from the surrounding area of Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.
The Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant has 6 units with a combined electrical power output of 4.6 GW. They are boiling water reactor (BWR) type, where cooling water passes through the hot fuel and the steam is directly produced from the water.
A nuclear power plant is powered by the nuclear splitting process (fission) of either natural or enriched uranium. Natural uranium has largely U-238, about 0.7% U-235 isotope, and a tiny amount of U-234. Enriched uranium has 3-5% U-235. Either natural or enriched uranium can act as nuclear fuel. The amount of heat liberated by one fissile U-235 atom is 202.5 MeV. Since 1 eV = 1.602 × 10-19 J, 202.5 MeV = 3.2 × 10-11 J. The atomic weight of uranium is 238 amu = 238 g/mol due to the overwhelming fractional amount of U-238. Since 1 mole = 6.02 × 1023, the amount of energy liberated per kg of natural uranium due to U-235 fission is 134 is 566.6 GJ/kg.
A large power plant typically produces about 1 GW electrical power. Per year, this means an energy production of 31,536 TJ. Hence, the natural uranium needed to produce this much energy is 55.7 metric ton. But, this much uranium is for a 100% heat-to-electricity energy conversion efficiency. A more realistic efficiency number is 40% – as I expect the nuclear power plant will use high temperature steam to drive turbine blades – so that a more realistic estimate of natural uranium required per year for the 1 GW power is 139.3 metric ton.
The estimate amount for the enriched uranium will be 4-7 times less due to its higher U-235 composition, but the numbers of U-235 atoms required in either fuel types are the same.
Neutrons produced by the U-235 fission are also captured by the more abundant U-238 leading to the production of fissile Pu-239 (plutonium). The amount of heat released by fission of one Pu-239 atom is 207.1 MeV, which is comparable to the heat produced by fissile U-235, and is used as well for power generation. The Economist (31 March 2011) reported that Pu-239 was detected in soil samples taken from the surrounding area of Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.
The Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant has 6 units with a combined electrical power output of 4.6 GW. They are boiling water reactor (BWR) type, where cooling water passes through the hot fuel and the steam is directly produced from the water.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Solar Thermal Heater: Molten Salt & Synthetic Oil
I came across a useful article on solar thermal power plants by MIT's Technology Review. It summarizes efforts of large energy companies to harness solar energy by capturing the energy through evaporation of a suitable working fluid in a Rankine cycle. The resulting steam from the evaporation is used to drive turbine blades, which then converts the steam's energy into electricity.
Siemens wants to use a mixture of molten potassium & sodium nitrate (molten salt) for the solar thermal power plant it designs and manufactures. The problem is that this molten salt freezes at around 220 °C. Kilometer long pipes used for this large scale power plant can be clogged by solid chunks since it is also difficult to control the pipe temperature to be always above the freezing point 24/7. Heat loss - radiative and convective - can be significant and freezing risk is real. A large scale power plant would require a heat storage to regulate the molten salt temperature.
This limitation also means that molten salt is not a good material for small scale power plant. The daily fluctuations of solar intensity makes molten salt unattractive as a result.
Solar thermal energy conversion method is more promising than solar photovoltaic since photovoltaic researchers still muse about 14 cents/kWh price, while solar thermal technology already has 13-20 cents/kWh pricing.
Another material used for solar thermal power plant is synthetic oil. The problem here is the temperature cannot exceed 390 °C since the oil will break down.
Siemens wants to use a mixture of molten potassium & sodium nitrate (molten salt) for the solar thermal power plant it designs and manufactures. The problem is that this molten salt freezes at around 220 °C. Kilometer long pipes used for this large scale power plant can be clogged by solid chunks since it is also difficult to control the pipe temperature to be always above the freezing point 24/7. Heat loss - radiative and convective - can be significant and freezing risk is real. A large scale power plant would require a heat storage to regulate the molten salt temperature.
This limitation also means that molten salt is not a good material for small scale power plant. The daily fluctuations of solar intensity makes molten salt unattractive as a result.
Solar thermal energy conversion method is more promising than solar photovoltaic since photovoltaic researchers still muse about 14 cents/kWh price, while solar thermal technology already has 13-20 cents/kWh pricing.
Another material used for solar thermal power plant is synthetic oil. The problem here is the temperature cannot exceed 390 °C since the oil will break down.
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