Government: Underwriter & Referee Only, Please!

I used to think government ought to provide as much as infrastructure and assistance to its citizens. Such things like smooth paved roads, free highways, comprehensive health coverage, caring unemployment insurance, generous child benefit, free primary and secondary education, cheap – or free – university education, work training, generous pension, and so on. I thought this was to be expected from government; after all, government is supposed to be staffed by well-intentioned, intelligent people, right? Moreover, government is a representation of its citizens and as such is supposed to deliver what each citizen cannot individually get. Government in short should create a welfare state to ensure the welfare of its people.

This grand idea is nice and noble. I believed in it when I was a university student. One perspective I didn't have then was the perspective of a taxpayer. A welfare state requires a lot of money and it comes from taxpayers. It was easy for me to demand all the infrastructure and assistance from a government when I didn't have to pay it.

When I got a job, I found out quickly enough that a big chunk taken from my paycheque was tax. Something like 30%! My initial reaction was 'Well, it was time for me to participate in building our economy and welfare'. It went on for several years, and I learned that along with paycheque expenses also went up. Things like mortgage, car payment, clothing, entertainment, vacation, eating out, cell phone bills, and the rest. These expenses got me thinking: 'Wait a minute, am I not already participating in building our economy and welfare by making these expenses?' I started feeling the squeeze of a middle-class lifestyle where paycheque begets expense and things go around in a circle. Around and around ... you know what I mean.

Why then do I still have to pay a lot of income tax? Shouldn't it be more fair if my expenses were taxed instead of taking a big chunk directly from my paycheque? The pendulum swung to the other end as I thought about my situation. I started to wonder why there was no tax credit for healthy citizens who did not get sick for a year; wouldn't it motivate people to exercise and eat right? I started to wonder why the bank's interest rate were not high enough so that people were motivated to save? Government takes money, but seldom returns it. Apparently, government doesn't apply economics as the art and science of incentives to motivate its citizens.

This is when I started realizing that government may not be staffed by people who really understand that money does not grow from the trees. Moreover, political parties that vie for the position of government can promise all kinds of things during election campaigns. But who are going to pay for all these? You guessed it, taxpayers.

So now I have both perspectives: as a non taxpayer and as a taxpayer. On balance, I believe a welfare state will not create innovative, risk-taking yet prudent citizens.

An impoverished government will not also be able to do its main functions: underwriter and referee. I see government as an insurance company to protect its citizens against unpredictable, life-threatening forces such as traffic accidents, floods, tsunami and alikes. Even then, citizens should be able to exercise freedom to choose private insurance companies if their prices and coverages are better. As an underwriter, government should provide protection against invasion risk (defense role) and trade & manufacturing liabilities (if it wants to develop strong industry). Government should protect wealth and beauty of land and water. As a referee, government should settle disputes among its citizens and enforce any laws passed. Even then, citizens should be allowed to settle their disputes out of court if they so wish.

Mandi

Aku mandi jika aku capek kotor
Gemericik air buat aku tenang
Otak bisa berpikir lagi habis
Seharian angkat angkat

Aku makan lodeh jika lapar
Masakan istri tidak terkalahkan
Santan kelapa kuning kemerahan
Sayur segar ditemani tahu tempe

Aku baca jika aku butuh ide baru
Ratusan buku aku kurangi karena
Ikuti orang semakin tidak enak
Aku mau jalanku sendiri

Aku lari jika badanku ingin segar
Naik sepeda sampai kulit hitam
Sudah lama tidak naik gunung
Hidup singkat terasa terbuang

Aku sapa anak jika rindu peluk
Yang besar yang kecil asaku juga
Senang lihat mereka dekat
Satu saat pergi jauh bersama

Impermanence

Q: Does everything change?

A: Yes, around us. Within us. When I was a student, my political orientation was left-wing. As my children grew, my living costs grew too and I realized the costs have gotten more expensive: clothing, books, entertainment, food. I want lower tax and my political orientation is more right-wing now.

Q: I am not sure if left-wing and right-wing dichotomy is relevant now, given there are not many socialist countries that thrive. That by the way is a change and it will keep changing.

A: You're right. I haven't run for a month and yesterday I ran. My right knee now feels sore. If I don't keep exercising regularly, my knee changes to a weaker state. Nothing is permanent.

Q: Why is nothing is permanent?

A: Because at least this world moves in cycle. We were born, grew up, and will die. We often think of this cycle as something that moves in time. But cycle moves in space as well. Countries that were dominant - Iraq, Egypt, more recently Portugal and Spain - now are no longer. History can teach us a lot of things, if only we were willing to read and listen.

Q: Isn't it obvious?

A: It is, as a knowledge, but it is so difficult to practice it. We cling so much to what we have. Everything. As if things would not change. The other day as I pack my books for my new adventure, I found out I clung so much to my books. I had a hard time picking ones that are truly important.

Q: Ha ha ha, that's funny. And you certainly thought other people clung more to their stuff - be they jewelry, clothing, or food.

A: Precisely, I had previously believed I didn't have a lot of attachment. But I did. It is always easier to criticize other people than recognizing my own weaknesses.

Q: Do you suggest that to have no attachment is the sure-fire way to deal with impermanence?

A: Yes, I feel that way. Having no attachment to anything is like anticipating the impermanence that surrounds us. It is the most natural response to impermanence.

Why Mission Needed?

A: That's a good question. Let me try to answer that. I wouldn't dream any mission in life - I am certain - if I didn't have education. I would be happy doing the 9-to-5 thing, watching games and shows on teve, going shopping, going to sleep, waking up, and going on like that for the next 20 years. My world would be a happier place without education ... A funny thing to say, come to think of it.

Q: Education sucks then, it ruins the party, eh?

A: When people say 'ignorance is bliss', they don't bullshit. Educated society demands a lot of things, which makes me wonder why Canadian political election has always been about health care ...

Q: But isn't it trite to say your life needs a mission? I mean, everyone has a mission in his life.

A: Well, there are obligations, you know ... duties, then there are life missions. The fact that my wife and I are raising my kids and making sure they grow up well is not my life mission. It is my duty since no one else is willing to do it.

Q: And how about mission?

A: Mission is what I elect to do. I can choose not to do it, but I decided to do it. It becomes a mission. Thing I have to do because I want to do it. It starts with a desire and ends with a decision to do something.

Q: Wait a minute, ... so having kids can be a mission then? Right?

A: Yes, you can decide to have 20 kids as your life mission, for example. Let's see whether you'll like it, huh!

Q: But why do you need a mission?

A: The short answer is that I can't stand routine stuff. It's supremely boring and could define what a hell is for me. The long answer goes back to the idea of education. That once it opens me to the world of ideas, it is hard to go back and pretend life is only about what to eat and buy for today or tomorrow.

Q: Not only you're melancholic, but incurably romantic as well.

A: I am. I accept it as who I am.

Q: So, what's your mission?

A: I want to travel the world, to be alone at the mountain peak and to meet people everywhere. I want to have my own business. Be my own boss and take care of people who work for me. Take care of people I love. That would be great! That's my mission.

Q: I do too. I feel what you say. I like the people I meet at work, but I hate my job. It becomes stale and too routine. I agree having my own business will give constant challenges.

A: I don't think it would get easier with owning a business - being an employee is actually easier - but I need challenges.

Q: What kind of business?

A: It has to be something I am really good at. Not just any business, opening a restaurant or a bar. It is not about money only. It is about meshing things I want to do with things I am good at.

Interesting Word, Freedom ...

A: Yeah, I know, 'cause we never have one. One - or worse, thing - enslaves another. I still want to be in a better spot though?

Q: Whatdayameaan?

A: Since I know I can never have freedom, at least I want a noble master ...

Q: You're bullshitting, right?!?

A: No, I am serious. I purposefully pick my master so that I feel at ease when I am enslaved.

Q: Ha ha ha, that's deep shit, man!

A: No kidding ... I figure if I am at ease when I am enslaved, I gain my freedom. You see I think I am on to something here. That's what I mean by finding a noble master.

Q: Hah, you're not a stupid thinker after all; I've seen worse. I guess this is what you mean by 'living a life with a mission' in our last conversation ...

A: Yeah, you are absolutely right. My mission is my noble master. I think about this a lot, as you know, and I come to a conclusion that my life is worth-living if it has a mission.

Q: Different people, different missions, or none at all for some people, eh?!

A: Hell, yeah ... it's a free market, bro! It's what gives color to this world.

Q: So, you don't wanna be a preacher?

A: Well, I'd like to share about my mission, but why should I waste my time too much? I got my mission to fulfill, right?

Q: Aahh, this starts to click now. You're just a lazy person, then?

A: Whatdayameaan?

Q: Well, you won't lift a finger if you don't see a benefit.

A: Most definitely, but it's not because my mission is to maximize the benefit. It's a by product, you see ...

Q: Whatever, but I see more clearly now.

What Are You Looking For?

A: Happiness, but mostly freedom.

Q: But don't you find one already?

A: Yes, but it feels flat - kind of meaningless.

Q: What do you mean?

A: Well, I feel happy, but happy as in 'absence of sadness', not happy in a meaningful way.

Q: You are just melancholic, you should live a little. Go out and buy things. You will feel happy.

A: I could but it is predictable. You know, those stuff are boring. You go in cycle and you feel trapped.

Q: Then you are not looking for happiness?

A: I suppose, but you know I keep searching ....

Q: So, you want to find a meaning in your life?

A: Yes, I think that's it. I want my life to mean something. A life with a mission.

Q: You are asking too much. You live in an advanced country. All things that need to be done were done already. Why can't you just enjoy the party?

A: What party? I am struggling as it is, along with my millions of countrymen. I think what you said about 'all things that need to be done were done' kinda explain what happens with our election campaign. So far it's been quite civil, er ... quiet ...

Q: What you said was interesting though ... You wanted a life with a mission. Do you know already what?

A: Yes, vaguely, but mostly I think because I am just a shy person.

Q: You're kidding, right? If any, you probably talk too much. You need to think about it more, but don't think too long ... The train will not wait for you!

A: I know.

Area & Volume

My previous blog was on two lines intersecting and the intersection gives us a notion of inner product, a peculiar way to multiply two vectors. When we consider area of a two-dimensional plane, we need to define an outer product, which is another way to multiply two vectors.

An area of a section in a flat two-dimensional plane is shown in the diagram below.

When you work out the algebra for sinγ using the identity sin²γ + cos²γ = 1, where cosγ is obtained from the inner product expression, you will find the following result when a and b are two-dimensional vectors.

So, for sinγ we obtain an interesting expression: a₁b₂ − a₂b₁. I said interesting because the indices 1 and 2 corresponding to the first and second components of the vectors a and b are interchanged and for some reason a minus sign is produced. If we stay in 2D, we won't be able to see the beauty of this interesting expression.

To move into a three-dimensional space means we are concerned with volume. If we consider a parallelepiped volume below, we can define three vectors: a = (a₁,a₂,a₃); b = (b₁,b₂,b₃); c = (c₁,c₂,c₃), which form a frame for the parallelepiped as shown below.

Things get truly interesting now. We must extend by analogy the notion of inner product in 2D space to a 3D space:

a⋅b = a_j b_j = a₁b₁ + a₂b₂ + a₃b₃

The index j is repeated, and this implies that j runs from 1 to 3 and the terms are added. Using this definition, it can be shown, after some algebra, that

Area = [(a₂b₃ - a₂b₃)² + (a₃b₁ - a₁b₃)² + (a₁b₂ - a₂b₁)²]^1/2.

The area spanned by the two vectors a and b is a length of a vector - let's call it g - given by

g = (a₂b₃ - a₂b₃, a₃b₁ - a₁b₃, a₁b₂ - a₂b₁).

g is the most natural (simple) choice for this vector, whose length corresponds to the area, since g is perpendicular to a and b. There are other 5 possibilities but they are not perpendicular to a and b. Another interesting result is that the vector -g (i.e., opposite to g but equal length) is also a solution, that is its length also yields the area spanned by vectors a and b.

The common choice in applied math is to pick g (not -g) as the vector perpendicular to a and b by imposing an 'index permutation' condition. This condition basically says that a term 'a₂b₃' in g will have a positive sign, while a term 'a₃b₂' will instead have a negative sign, and so on. In the former, the positive sign comes up because the index 2 appears before 3, while in the latter 3 appears before 2. To regulate this sign assignment we define an index-permutation coefficient (its fancy name is Levi-Civita symbol).

An outer product of a and b (in that order) is equal to g,

g = a × b,

and the length of g is equal to the area spanned by vectors a and b. If we flip the order of a and b, we get

-g = b × a,

where the negative sign appears because of the reverse index permutation.

Once we understand that an area in 3D space is equal to the length of vector g, the volume of a parallelepiped spanned by vectors a, b, and c can be obtained simply, as shown by the diagram below.

The volume is equal to the inner product of g and c, and since g = a × b, we get the desired result,

Volume = c⋅(a × b).

Why does inner product of 2 vectors look like that?

The inner product of two vectors a and b is defined by

a⋅b = a₁b₁ + a₂b₂

where a = (a₁,a₂) and b = (b₁,b₂) are defined on a two-dimensional space.

Why does the inner product of these two vectors look like that? Is there any purpose at all to define the inner product like that?

The answer to this question shows the connection between vectors and geometry. More precisely, the inner product helps us obtain the angle between two vectors.

But there are two angles between these two vectors. The first angle is defined when we stack the two vectors one after the other. The symbols |a| and |b| mean the lengths of vectors a and b.

The second angle is defined when we coincide the starting points of the two vectors.

The two angles, α and γ, are actually connected when we look at the diagram below.

That is, their sum is equal to 180°. From the definition of the inner product, we can conclude right away that a⋅b = 0 if the two vectors are perpendicular to each other.

Kakek

Langkah diammu ingatkan aku

Bapakku yang sudah tak sabar

Cucu tinggal di tanah jauh.

Heh, itu saja yang kamu ucapkan

Waktu aku sapa kamu walau

Kita bertetangga bersebelahan.

Topi dan lagakmu persis bapakku

Diam tapi tak ragu tengkar teriak

Aku pun yakin kamu seperti itu.

Aku jadi terlena ingat bapakku

Kakek anakku punya banyak cerita

Sudah tua tapi tak mau diam.

Senyum dan mata membasah

Ingat saat kita siap berhunus

Anak bapak sama saja gila.

Aku pelan sadar kita tidak beda

Bapakku pasti senang bertemu

Cucunya: cermin hidup masih muda.

Jauh

Aku sudah berjalan jauh

Tak takut lagi bicara mati

Menghitung hari dan tahun

Pastikan anak istri terjamin.

Kerap aku jadi tak sabar

Karena aku ada di depan

Aku masih harus belajar

Mendengar raba merasa.

Aku sudah berjalan jauh

Tak takut lagi jatuh miskin

Pasrah hukum alam saja

Masih banyak harus kuraih.

Dulu kupikir ini yang kucari

Jadi pertapa menara gading

Sepi bukan sahabatku lagi

Aku mau jalanku sendiri.

Aku sudah berjalan jauh

Satu besar, satu beranjak

Mungkin aku kembali lagi

Tapi sudah, terserah mereka.

Lepas nanti kamu berdua

Kita teman dekat terbaik

Bukan aku letih dan penat

Tapi kamu harus berani.

Aku sudah berjalan jauh

Semakin tahu mauku apa

Tak mempan bujuk rayumu

Makin cinta dirimu saja.

Apa Yang Berharga Dariku

Anakku,
umurmu sudah enam tahun sekarang
    masih muda dan panjang jalanmu
aku sendiri baru melangkah tiga puluh

saat ini, sendiri
ibumu dan kamu jauh dariku

Kemarin aku duduk lama di taman
    dekat apartemen kita
menyisir pikiran dan rasa.
Teriakan riang remaja main baseball
   sepasang muda-mudi berlarian menangkap frisbee
      tiga anak kecil hitam dan kakeknya
duduk di bawah pohon rindang

Aku teringat saatku sendiri
empat tahun pertamaku.
    Tapi kali ini dahsyat rasa sunyi
menghantam dada.
    Rindu mendekap ibumu dan tawa dan tangismu

Sudah banyak aku dengar dan baca
apa itu hidup dan waktu.
Tetap tak bisa ganti
pengalaman sendiri.
Dengarkan apa yang aku ungkapkan
sebelum kamu baca dan alami sendiri.

Hargai kemerdekaan
    menyamai hidupmu
Karena dialah pembuka irama hari
dan nyanyi syahdu menjelang tidur.
Jangan bungkam dia sebelum semua indramu
mereguk penuh.

Hidup ini terlalu singkat buat
penakut dan pengecut.
Tajamkan niat
asah nalar untuk maju
memimpin mereka yang akan berbaris
di belakangmu.
Dengan menjadi nahkoda kapalmu sendiri
kamu akan mengenal lautan hidup.

Tirulah gandum, menatap sang mentari
badan tegak dan mata lurus
menyongsong, tangan terbuka lebar.
Biarkan mentari membakar rantingmu
karena hanya itu kamu bisa tumbuh.
Bulir jiwamu menjadi terisi energi
mengalir di tata surya.
Tapi jangan pongah dan lengah,
karena sungai di dekat rumah nenek buyutmu
tak mengalir jauh. Walau berderas lantang.
Sedang kali Brantas dan Bengawan Solo
membawa hanyut debu subur kawah berapi
sampai jauh ke laut. Hampir tanpa gemuruh.

Lalui keseharian dengan gairah dan semangat
sambut sapa selamat pagi, dengan dendang lagu kesukaan.
Tak usah malu dan enggan menari bersama hidup
karena kita toh akan dijemput sang maut.
Peluk dan cium dia
hirup semerbak aromanya dan berlarilah riang
di hari cerah atau penuh badai.

Cari kebenaran
nalar dan rasa menuntunmu.
Jangan ragu tanya atau malas pikir
karena orang lain akan menyita jiwamu
    gadaikan di altar jadi-jadian,
jika kamu tidak melangkah sendiri.
Bicara seadanya dan jujur
biar orang mengenalmu
seperti kamu kenal dirimu.
Tidak ada rahasia hidup yang tidak kamu tahu.
Dan tak usah ciptakan mitos dan misteri
karena hanya asingkan kamu
dari orang-orang yang mencintaimu.

Tidak ada yang lebih terhormat
dari kerja sehari penuh
cukupi dirimu sendiri.
Pelajari semua yang kamu temui
selagi masih punya waktu.
Jangan pernah bilang tidak bisa
sebelum kamu jatuh terseok berulang kali.

Tidak ada pekerjaan lebih mulia dari yang lain.
Karena kita hidup bersama, menghirup udara
meminum air, dan menanak nasi
hasil keringat orang lain
ramuan alam warisan nenek moyang.
Kalau kamu jadi pembesar atau orang pintar
Jangan buang muka dari orang-orang
menatapmu hormat kagum.
Kalau kamu jadi pegawai atau pekerja
jangan tundukkan kepala berdiam diri
ragu takut akan pikiran orang lain.
Karena hakikat manusia bukan pangkat dan gelar.

Hanya memberi, bukan mengemis
kamu menjadi kaya raya.
Hanya kegairahan, bukan keengganan,
kamu memetik kebahagiaan.
Hanya mencari, bukan pasrah,
kamu menggenggam kemerdekaan.

Anakku,
waktunya aku bekerja kembali
sudah duduk tiga jam menulis buatmu.
Kalau aku tidak bisa memberimu apa-apa
biarlah puisi ini menjadi
semua yang berharga dariku.

28 August 2000